You have to love small town newspapers. Whenever I get bored, I simply head on down to the library and read the police blotters in all of the old town newspapers.
A choice pick from last week: "Rifle found in dumpster. Call Police Dept. to claim." Frankly, if I found a rifle in a dumpster, I would be wondering what crime had been committed. Anyone crazy enough to try to claim that thing is liable to end up being questioned.
Another great quote: "Found: Three all black kittens. One mentally challenged. Three weeks old." How can you tell that a kitten is mentally challenged?
Oh, life is never dull in a small town.