Things to Do

Things I need to do this week, to finish off October:

1. Contact the head of the magazine turnover division at my local library, to get all of the magazines slated to be recycled. We can use these at the Head Start to make collages and find interesting pictures to post on the wall (Hello, Diversity Project!)


2. Type up a summary of the apple tasting to send to my AmeriCorps supervisor to officially finish with one of three nutrition projects.


3. Fasten my new, $2 corkboard message board onto the wall.

What's on your To Do List?

Something Has Crashed On My Computer

This is totally like my cat. If you are reading a book (0r worse, a newspaper), yours is the one lap that Tiger wants to sit on. Forget the coaxing of the other two people in the room; he only has eyes for you.

This makes studying for a test or brushing up on the daily news challenging. The solution? Resign yourself to a few minutes of stress relief, and pet the rascally cat.

Pet Parades

For a minute, I could have sworn that I was back in my hometown. Someone had brought a large, black and white flecked chicken to the pet parade!

There were also countless dogs, a cat in a box (isn't it supposed to be a jack in the box?), and a toad. Unfortunately (!), one boy had to leave his garter snakes at home

I love pet parades. Schoolchildren just love to show off their wide assortment of pets. They're thrilled when their teachers want to know more about it each one. It's such a great break from the regular school day.

A Very ADD Day

Today has been a very ADD day. This became abundantly clear when I realized that I was reading five books at once---five pages of The Great Gatsby, ten of Tenth Grade Bleeds, twelve of Free Range Kids, eighteen of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and two of House Rules. Perhaps this isn't the most effective way to read.

I kept getting sidetracked today---I'd walk over to the recycling bin with a few pieces of paper, only to see that someone forgot to mop up around the sink. I'd lay my papers down to remedy that, then see that a whole slew of papers needed to be filed. Eventually I'd remember my original task (taking the papers to the recycling bin) and complete it. Total time: twenty minutes.

Time to have my meds adjusted.

Call Me Gulliver

Today I stabbed a kid (with a pencil). Luckily it didn't pierce the skin---jeans are really thick!

It was an accident, of course. You have us tall, gangly twenty-somethings, amidst a classroom of tiny people. It's hard not to feel like Gulliver in Gulliver's Travels. A single misstep on our part crushes their whole foot. A carelessly placed knee catches them right in the stomach. And they just sneak up on you.

Even though the boy was adamant that he was okay, I reported the incident to his teacher. It's always better to be on the safe side where injuries and liability is concerned. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery (and no new injuries)!

Vampires

"But firemen can't do anything about vampires!"

This is one phrase you don't expect to hear when you walk into the classroom. Who would have thought when I applied for this job eight months ago that I would spend my mornings calming terrified kindergarteners? Who would have known that I would be dealt the task of verifying that while vampires are not real, I can't say anything about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Twilight has a lot to answer for.

Nothing beats the day, however, when I was asked by a sixth grader, in all seriousness, what a virgin was. Rather than having him Google it on the web and find who knows what, I gave him my simplest (though not entirely accurate) answer: "A woman who has never had children." Life is never dull.

I've Mastered the Fine Art of Bribery

This year, I've been mastering the fine art of bribery. I work with a very ADHD kindergartener, and pretzels motivate him like nothing else. For each letter that he spells right in a word, he gets one pretzel. He's up to twenty words per session now---he'll even spell pretzel and robot.

This is the little boy who was so quick to spell "shut up" when I taught him the "sh" blend. He's quick as lightning when he feels like working! Knowing his propensity for less socially accepted words, I waited with bated breath when I taught him about "ch." How many swear words would he come up with? Luckily, a plane flew by and he was up and at the window before the full impact of his newly expanded vocabulary was upon him.

Rent a Textbook

I have personally never rented a textbook, prefering instead to borrow mine from the college library or get them cheap through http://www.isbndb.com/, but I recently came across a Yahoo article on strange things to rent.


Chegg is a textbook lender that charges just 10 to 30% of the purchase price of a textbook to borrow it for a quarter or semester. Though you have to pay to have the book shipped to you ($3.99 Standard is the cheapest option), you can return it for free through UPS after the borrowing period ends. To sweeten the deal, Chegg plants a tree for every book you rent.


They offer a 30-day "Any Reason" guarantee, which begins the day the book is shipped to you. This comes in particularly handy if you happen to drop a course, or discover that you don't really "need" the textbook. How many students have discovered that their professor only alludes to a particular book in passing, after having spent $50 on the book? Annoying, to say the least. This sidesteps the issue nicely.


They calculate that "A student, on average, will save over $500 a year by renting compared to buying textbooks." However, "the savings are calculated by subtracting each book's rental fee from the book's publisher suggested list price." Maybe I'm the exception rather than the rule, but I never pay the publisher's listed price. Talk about inflation! However, 10-30% of the list price is still a really good deal.

I'm definitely going to give this site a try for my next online class. Paired with isbndb, this could mean some real textbook savings!

No Kissing in Kindergarten

Am I the only one who finds it strange that I have to issue this directive? It seems to be common sense: No Kissing in Kindergarten. Little kids shouldn't be worrying about who kissed who or who has a boyfriend. A boyfriend? Really?

This is right up there with the "Keep your hands where I can see them" rule. A little too much nose picking has spiraled around the third grade like a nasty flu bug. There are only so many times you can sanitize a table in a day. Five is my limit.

At least life with children is never dull!

Just a Day in the Life...

My little ADHD kindergartener is now on meds, so the number of scissors fights per week has steadily decreased. He's a smart little guy---I taught him the sh blend, and he turned around, quick as lightning, and spelled "shut up." I'm so proud.

Time to go convince some first graders that we do not burp in class or pick our noses (and if I have some time, the ch blend). Wish me luck!

Dyslexia in Public Schools

I think the roughest part of working in a public school is not being able to directly name problems. I can't suggest that a parent get her child tested for dyslexia---I can only write that her son "experiences letter and number reversals" on his learning plan, and hope that she understands the code words for dyslexia. To write anything else would be "deleterious to the child's self-esteem."

Similarly, if I think a child has ADHD, I can't just ask the parent if she has been tested---I can just mention the child's distractability and behavior issues. To do anything else would be insulting.

To me, this is completely illogical. If a child truly has dyslexia or ADHD, we are doing them no good by gently sidestepping the issue. They won't get the help they really need, and that's when their self-esteem will really suffer. It suffers when they try so hard, only to fail time and time again. It suffers when they see just how easily everyone else can read a page of information, or pay attention in class, and they can't. They'll start to blame themselves, and feel like they are failures. They'll stop trying to do better, since it never helps.

Imagine the difference a simple diagnosis could make! They'd realize that they aren't stupid, or defective, or any of the other labels they (and other kids) put on themselves. They'll learn strategies that will really help them, instead of muddling through this on their own.

This just goes to say, that just maybe---on my last day---I may gently mention to the children's parents that their children be tested---self esteem and insults be damned.

Twenty-four Hours of Lesson Planning, Did You Say?

Oh, dear. My throat is starting to ache. This is not a good sign. I finally got better!

Anyway, parent/teacher conference time is upon us. I get to spend twenty-four hours over the course of three short days planning lessons and waiting for a parent to deign to visit me. Oh, how I pray for a visit to break up the tedium of my day. There is only so much lesson planning that one girl can do without going absolutely, positively bonkers.

On the plus side, my new poetry unit is now completely planned out, and I have several new, glossy pictures to spark journal entries.

Paper Pile-up

It's kind of scary. Sometimes I almost pray for a flood or a disaster to wipe out most of my possessions so that I don't have to lug them around anymore, or determine which I really need. I still have a room full of stuff at home and in the garage that I don't see for most of the year, and have found a way to live without. Most of my possessions don't contribute much to my life; there are a few things that are really handy and that I'd hate to be without, but they are in the minority. I'm dreading sorting through five boxes of school papers. Most of it I don't really need.

I don't really want a natural disaster. Maybe I can just pretend that one has occurred, and toss out all of my "flooded" papers. They've been sitting in a box for two years, so it's not like I'd miss them.

I Have Mastered the Copy Machine!

Today I mastered the copy machine. I can now copy double-sided, collated documents, and have them stapled, all in one fell swoop! I am a master!

On the downside, this now means that my supervisor will expect all of my handouts to be double-sided and collated, "to save paper." Oops!

I love the Book Bazaar on Paperback Swap. I got half a dozen elementary school books for two credits---and these aren't picture books. My students are going to love this! I'm always trying to collect sets of books so that we can stray from the "A Mop for Pop" and short story readers. They're just so dull! I figure that if I, as a teacher with a long attention span, can't suffer through the material, it isn't fair to subject the kids to it. There are so many great books out there, waiting to be read!

So we read "My Father's Dragon," a few Magic Treehouse books, and a ton of "Amelia Bedelia." Sprinkle in some funny school poems, and life is no longer so dull.

What was your favorite book as a child?

Bribery

I have discovered the greatest hidden teaching tool known to man: bribery. Instead of dispensing with a snack, have them earn it piece by piece as they do their work. This has worked wonders with my ADHD kindergartener. He will spell any word for two pretzel sticks. He stays focused, and gets his work done. Otherwise, it's like pulling teeth.

In other news: a strange, sticky brown substance is covering several of my library books (on the laminated dust jackets, thank goodness). Given as they've been exposed to numerous first and second graders, I really do not want to know what this substance is. It's brown. That's enough for me.

Things to Do Today

Today I absolutely must:
1) Mail my students' pen-pal letters
2) Get my H1N1 shot (I'm finally not sick anymore!)
3) Do a load of laundry (my two pairs of good school pants desperately need washing)
4) Pick up my prescription at Walgreens
5) Return "The Lost Symbol" to the library (for some reason, I absolutely couldn't finish this book. Usually I'm a huge fan of Dan Brown.)

What's on your To Do list?

The Perks of Being a Teacher

I just discovered that I have the run of the school gym on weekends! There are perks to be a teacher!

Of course this knowledge will only be used for good, never for evil....

"I want to run down the halls of my (elementary) school! I want to scream at the top of my lungs!"

Anyway....

One Long Week

It's been a long week. Not only did we suddenly get a new first grade group for an hour and a half in the morning (four days a week), but the third grade math group was abruptly changed from two days a week to four. Sigh.

The third graders are so much fun individually, but absolutely toxic in a group. One of the boys has major anxiety issues that they are still trying to find an accurate diagnosis for. The school psychologist asked me to take notes on his symptoms. Very low pressure, I tell you.

The other boy is the class clown, but also a bit of an antagonist. He has a really awful past, but he's working hard to overcome it. He is an absolute charmer when I work with him and just one other person, but add any more, and bad things happen. The last blow-out took two weeks to recover from, as a group.

The two girls in the group are intriguing, to say the least. One is a born actress. She's very dramatic, and always trying out different accents and characters. She's a lot of fun, but it is so hard to get her to focus. The other girl is a perfectionist---don't you dare tell her she's wrong. She will absolutely melt down. She has come a long way, though, this year. Her meltdowns are a lot less frequent, and you can often see her visibly straightening herself up and refusing to give in to her emotions.

I really enjoy working with them---we've just got to work on the dynamics. I'm trying to line up a tutor for the boy with anxiety issues. He does really well when he receives one-on-one attention. Also, there is much less drama in the group with only three people to feed it, instead of four.

I just want to do what is best for these kids. Sometimes I worry that everything I try isn't enough, that I'm failing them somehow. I've just got to keep trying, and enjoy the journey.

Blushing Boys

You should have seen my student blush! We were looking up Greek Mythology vocabulary, and he was the lucky one to get Aphrodite. He used Google to find out that Aphrodite was the godess of love, beauty, and fertility, but didn't know what fertility was. Another search popped up fertility clinics. Upon finding out what they were, he couldn't click away fast enough!

Cube: The Makeover Edition

Don't tell my supervisor, but I am slowly but surely making over my little cube. Originally it was just a long faux wood table with four plastic molded chairs, but now---it has a large, soft, fluffy blue chair. And this is just the first of four.

I'm just going to wait and see how it goes over on Monday. Will there be jealousy? Anger? Ire over a lack of consultation?

I cannot imagine how anyone can expect kids to learn sitting on those horrible, uncomfortable chairs. Seriously, eight hours in those things? It was pure torture. (Not to mention that I was sick of having my swivelly, soft office chair stolen every time I turned around).

My supervisor rarely visits my little cube, so I may go undetected for quite awhile---at least until I can think up a plausible explanation for the sudden presence of the thrift store chair. I need to think up a good justification for the change. Any thoughts?