Vampires

"But firemen can't do anything about vampires!"

This is one phrase you don't expect to hear when you walk into the classroom. Who would have thought when I applied for this job eight months ago that I would spend my mornings calming terrified kindergarteners? Who would have known that I would be dealt the task of verifying that while vampires are not real, I can't say anything about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny? Twilight has a lot to answer for.

Nothing beats the day, however, when I was asked by a sixth grader, in all seriousness, what a virgin was. Rather than having him Google it on the web and find who knows what, I gave him my simplest (though not entirely accurate) answer: "A woman who has never had children." Life is never dull.